ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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