I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
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