I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize