you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
