I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
