Her vagina should come with caution tape.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
