I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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