I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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