Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
we're so committed to being not committed
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize