happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
