38 yer olds are good kisserssss
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
i think my cat just said my name.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize