She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
