Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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