So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
