Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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