Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
