I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Randomize
