Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
