Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
