So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
