How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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