I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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