I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
