Quick, to the slutcave!
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
