There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
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On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
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I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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