3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
