on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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