I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
