no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize