i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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