my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize