2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
So here I am, sexting at work.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
