We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
im six kinds of drunk right now
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
