So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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