Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
