do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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