Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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