Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
