I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Less talking, more tequila
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
