there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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