how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I just had sex on a roof
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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