Nicole vs. Life
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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