when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
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