and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
