You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
