She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
