dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Randomize
