Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I can't put those talents on a resume
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
