just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
