6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize
