So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
