is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
