She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize