C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
