I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
