Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
