sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
