It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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