Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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