Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
