The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
